I don�t know� I think if I felt death was imminent, I would feel intensely what would be great to do before dying� But I am dying and I just feel soft� lazy. I would like to feel what I want to do before leaving this lovable Earth�
What would I go doing if I know I have a big disease and only 2 years left to live�? That would bring me a giant amount of energy and blow up my laziness, the fog I�m in, I�m sure. Sometimes it seems I can feel it, but not clearly enough. I�m afraid my life is getting too boring, spoiling everything. Too much computer, can�t see time running, time is stolen.

So what it would be? What is my deep life itch? What if I had a serious brain cancer? and that I felt my death? Would I just go on to live this way? Would you boy? Or would you just jump out of this house and do what you think is the most giant thing to live? Wouldn�t you die to see some things related to this Earth? Without caring if it�s far, if it costs money, if you�re not so sure that it�s gonna be great?

Would I go climbing up to the top of a volcano to see down inside the luminous blood of Earth, to know what�s under my feet? Feel its heart beat?

Would you go and see a snowy landscape, all in the north, watching aurora borealis, the Northern Lights, to feel the shiver of this celestial magic Universe we�re in?

Wouldn�t you go in a dunes desert, to, in this silence, hear the voice of the Earth?
Wouldn�t you start to take immediately diving lessons? No? you would just go on watching TV and do more-or-less-funny things on your computer all day?

Really I don�t know� Sometimes I can feel how everything is in its correct place, following the same giant destiny...
Sometimes I can feel how I make a step everyday.
Sometimes I can feel how we are not dancing alone, how what we work on everyday will take place, and will be even needed, in a global giant musical, which is gonna connecting everything, enlightening everything, the meaning of every steps we made.

Sometimes I just can seat in an armchair and feel how I can stop thinking of all thing, stop the guilt and the seeking desire, and how this very place, and this very time, there on my armchair, is just the total right situation, is enough, because things are following their way, because I didn�t make up the dance steps, nor did I create a single toe of my body or my soul, and because I�m just floating in an azure eternal magic sky. No way there is a need to fidget.

So� i� try to think, and try not to think. Try to desire more and try not to desire. I try to do more things, even on my computer (like pictures, animation, music�), and to do less things.

I just wish� a more mammal life�
A clearer burnt in my heart
I just wish� I shut up.

I shut up.

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