There was a girl on stage. I saw her naked back and arms, close. I find it (i mean: this girl�s body, and all these glittering people) so huge, so amazing� I don�t know why i felt so MUCH just by looking her skin, the sight of one other world, never seen before, far from it� I had the feeling after the show i just have taken a big discharge of sensuality straight in my face. I was feeling as i was looking at her, like i was in the low world, like i was a small dry shit, giving nothing, sharing nothing� That is: i�m in a so desperate situation about that, as soon as i see a girl, i just wide open my stomach to receive all the beauty i can get, and i always feel wounded by that, i always fall in love, without even talked to the girl� I send letters, i�m pathetic� I mean, i could talk to her, i saw her after the show, in the bar-marquee. And again i feel DAMN guilty not to have managed to do better� with a girl� I�ve just spoken with the male artists� I can do that. That was cool still.

I left this place, there was a wide middle-dark sky, and i said to myself: �See? See how this world is beautiful, how all this is totally bigger, infinite, how there is more to get, now, or the day i die, or whatever�?�

They�re gonna play again tonight� Guess what! i will try to go there, widen a bit more the wound� maybe it will break me in two for good this time� That wouldn�t be a so bad death, would that? Nah� I�ve got to drive my fists into one or two things again.

I�m afraid to see it again. Cyrk 13. Philippe Decoufl�. He�s a genius. I love everything he does.

I guess one day or the other, people will get happy for good, for ever, i guess this is the point of this world.