***Hi! I'm stuck!

2002.08.14
My life in one page
(the train journey)

2002.09.08
lion bites zebra neck

big eyes in white fog

September 17, 2003 - 00:50 am

***Hi! I'm stuck!I like desperate people. Pain in the ass the people who want everything, all the time, and who are gonna tease you just to have a little more fun. I like desperate people, like in war time, who are gonna enjoy every single gift of life, every food, every smile, every word. This is war, everywhere. This is not about this little peace. Big house and money get boring as a cold death, the bourgeois is just able to shoot a bullet in his head� This is war, not until peace, until freedom. The freedom that found Juan Matus when he flew to the sky, totally alive, totally conscious, for eternity.

I don�t know if I feel desperate. I feel dark as a whale. Powerful as a feather, waiting for my desire to move my ass. The proper desire, the correct energy. I wish I could do better. Do I need to wait here, to learn I don�t know what, stuck in this white fog, before to do something better, something useful, something clear? Can I kick my ass, to use me, in that play? I begin to not like at all that constant lack of balance. Insane. Waste. Spoil. Claustrophobia. Guilt.

In July, when i went to see my ex, I shivered each time I was watching her skin. And I was getting touched and surprised each time she was talking to me. Each time she did want to talk to me� I was touched and happy, every single time.

�