sensitive to the karma

March 25, 2003 - 6:27 pm

*** Bladders and galaxiesI am sensitive to the favorite hour of the day (means, position of the sun, the kind of light and mood of the day) of people. For some it�s the brightness of the morning (hi Juan Matus), for some it�s the magic of the twilight, for others it�s only at night that they start to breathe (hi Hemann Hesse).

I am sensitive to the forehead wrinkles that are formed by the years and the personality of each one� I always look at them� I started after having seen a documentary on gorillas� they were shooting photos of the skin that is between their nose and their forehead, so that they can recognize each one, because they are very different for each gorillas, and so it is in human� For example, I like the ones of Philippe Djian (a writer I love to death), they are totally crazy, short and they scatter in all directions, when they are usually only like two or three horizontal lines� Some seem serene, some tortured� some are ugly and some very thin, very precise and beautiful� What I look on tv has great influence on me�! like if I see an otter chewing a fish on, I crave for eating tons of raw fishes� and don�t talk to me about seeing a chocolate factory, or cacao trees in Africa� wow�!

And I am sensitive to what people think while they are trying to fall asleep in the dark of their room, no sound around, still blackness, and nothing to do, and they start to think, randomly� because there, it is very intimate�

�� this computer is really fucking my brain up� shit� but still, these pictures I made were funny, yeah, yeah� I didn�t waste totally my time today� I will buy a new one� oh well, now shut up and sleep� Damn, it�s hot in here, is it me? What did they say at the weather report? mmh, it wasn�t clear for this area� I am sweating, take off this blanket� Do you remember the�oh god! what was this noise! shit, that�s scary� Pfff, I can�t sleep� do I get up again and masturbate? that will help me to sleep, maybe I need it� oh nah, I�m too lazy� it�s ok� Is it really possible that there are only 10 to the power 80 atoms in this universe? Ok, that�s a lot of zeros but, look, how many billions atoms are there in a single grain of sand? now see all the grains that there are in only one handful of fine sand� and in a whole beach, all the beaches, all the planets�? don�t know� Alright, count them! 1, 2� 3 atoms� Well, let�s see: there must be around one hundred billions stars in a galaxy and about 100 billions of galaxies in the universe, which is expanding pretty quickly, but it�s just space, not material, is it? So that makes 10 to the power 22 of stars or shit�mmh, it may be so, 10 power 88 atoms� Anyway, they think now a big bang can emerge in every single black hole, as this one is born from a black hole in another universe� that we are a son of another universe, a parallel universe, and that we are the parents of who knows how many baby universes� forever hidden behind the veil of the black holes� other worlds, other realities, their own space and time, their own feeling of unfulfilment, their own wankers, tight and shit� or whatever� sure, nothing is impossible� we don�t know shit, life�s a trick� hey, it�s exactly like the movie Matrix, there�s a wall of illusion, mmh� more of a lack of knowledge, in a same astonishing way, this kind of bound of the consciousness� the Buddhists know that, and the Toltecs� yeah, that was a good movie� Do I get up again to pee, do I? awww, I don�t want�! Is my bladder so full? Maybe that�s why I can�t sleep� Ok, let�s get up again, and I will drink water too� Deal!� Hey! you don�t get up!... �