I'm listening these days the Sigur Ros albums... The last one (()) (uh, strange...) I listened it for the first time two days ago, in a single breath, it made me cry at some point (but only 10 seconds...)... But about anything makes me cry, since... months. Anyway, it is still pretty beautiful… Icelandic bands are really good…! like The Szabotnik 15 Mission (Mum), Polydistortion (Gus Gus)… I like them….

Goodbye…

Need to heal…

or maybe to get used that this wound will never be closed up again… This wound has opened my heart to like a dark infinity, I feel infinity pricked in my heart, I feel I am truly nothing anymore, or everything, like some water in water, I feel perfection everywhere, nothing to think of anymore, nothing to worry about, it’s not me, not about me, not what I thought I was… how could ignorance be so strong and make things seem so real… now it’s like a dream… now it’s impossible… But I am still here, the mere candle I suppose… I guess this is only my littleness that is dying, nothing else… I guess all This is great, I guess it is so Powerful, I guess I will just have to make a mid-air back somersault into this… hah… Greatness… It’s gonna be more than alright… It’s just the guy in his dirty wet jail since 10 centuries that sees all of a sudden a hole in the wall and can look at the beach behind, the sun, the smell of the air, the brightness, the space, and wondering what… what the hell…

I guess my heart will tell me what to do… I guess there is no difference… between before and now, between human hearts and everything else outside, it’s the same, we just are what we are, and there is nothing to understand… Just the pursuit of clearness, just the hug-back… and then I don’t know… Total Beauty? I will examine the question… I need to grow up… I really do.