leaving by train to visit my parents, west.8 march: leaving by train to visit my older sister and her husband, southwest.
At the change of train, the next one is 1 hour and a half late. I ask a girl
a cigarette. Cuz she has a nice face and seems sad, deep. I ask her a cigarette
with a slow and sad voice. I feel deep and sad and I want to give her something.
I smoke the cigarette on the platform. But nothing more. When I leave, I glance
at her, and she glances at me... Maybe we could have done more... Maybe
not revolution in our lives, but at least live a nice moment by talking a bit...
That's what I think now, and it's a new thought... Oh damn. Next time, next
time, will do better.
9 march: we go to a charming ski resort and surfride. Mountain is beautiful. After
30' my legs are dead. 4 years no ski. I change of snowboard. We surfride the whole
day. Amazing sun, amazing heat. My face is sunburned.
10 march: we go to the ocean. Ocean is beautiful. So wide. My eyes are full.
12: I leave and stop in Bordeaux, where a friend of the Youth Hostel in the ski
resort I've worked in, lives. 5 years no see. Nice. I like him. My throat hurts
since the morning, I'm getting ill. But on the train to Bordeaux, the sun is low
in the sky, and it is beautiful, and I find myself back: "it's the Universe
that knows, it's the sun that knows..." and I feel humble again and carried...
I'm happy. I feel good.
13: I leave and go again to my parents house. I'm dead. I'm getting ill.
14 march: I go back to my house. I see again here and there cute women. It hurts.
It fucking hurts.
15: my computer is still in the store. And I feel in peace, with time to take
care of my bonsai and my garden, and to paint... and to watch movies. I feel
a lot of new energy, connected to my environment. I'm happy. I'm really happy.
But too much energy then, and I want to scream, I want to do more, to give...
Same old shit. Same old fear. I wish you were here... I hit my djembe...
I call my best friend (portable). He's in Sweden. We talk a bit.
16: I promise to spend 10 times less time on my computer, and on internet.
17: I promise to spend 3 times less time on my computer, and on internet.
18: I see on tv young English people laid down on the ground in front of the English
Parliament, they are protesting against war, they have paint on their faces and
their clothes, and that makes me want to cry so badly... (don't know, the brotherhood... )
19: I've got my PC back.
